Snack time followed our enlightening lesson on 1950s Brittany. There
was lukewarm tap water from the adjoining bathroom sink and little
sausages wrapped in that canned crescent roll dough and baked. I
took a cup of water and a sausage to be polite. I sipped the water
and looked for an opportunity to hide my sausage in my napkin.
Another woman was not bothering with social niceties. She took a
bite of the sausage roll, declared it inedible and quite
conspicuously spit it back onto her plate. Charming.
I began to prepare my good-byes, as I figured it was just about time
to go. We had learned about Brittany, we had snacks, we'd been there
for a couple of hours. Surely now, we could be released. Not yet.
There was a video to watch! Hurrah! In all fairness, this was the
best part of the whole meeting. The video was about Ireland but it
was an hour and a half long and although I was unsure about whether I
would even be able to unstiffen my body to get up from the hard
plastic chair, I surely wanted to make the attempt. But, as the
Buddhists remind us, all is impermanent, even Celtic Society meetings
and videos about Ireland. At long last, it was over. It took a
little doing, but with the exact same smile still locked into place,
I got myself out of the chair, out the door and into the truck as
quickly as I could limp. I reached over with my left hand to shut
the door and burst out laughing. “What the hell was that supposed
to be?” I asked Bill. “I have no idea,” he responded. We
laughed all the way home and beyond. My long and bizarre day had
reached an end.
Epilogue
The commissioners hired someone to run the museum who did not have museum/history/anthropology experience but had an interest in the town and who was willing to spend many, many hours promoting and fundraising. He was a much better choice than I would have been. I would never have been willing to devote so much of my life to such an undertaking. I hated the town more and more with each passing day, so I would definitely have been the worst person in the world to have that job.
My legs turned all sorts of weird colors, and then the bruises faded. The stiffness in my arm went away. And I was always careful about that spot on the sidewalk in the future.
The Celtic Society dutifully called us to let us know about upcoming meetings for a few years after that day. We never did go back.
It has been 15 years since that day and I still laugh when I think of it.
9 comments:
Those LONG meetings would have been great if someone was overweight and needed help trying to lose a few pounds snacking on inedible food and being held captive and literally tied to a plastic chair...You and Bill were great sports to have stayed for the entire presentation.
Happy to hear that you didn't break any bones ☕
We thought it would never end. I might still be sitting there today, a skeleton in a plastic chair! ;-)
There didn't seem to be any way to leave politely. All attention was on us as new people--they didn't see many new people. For several months afterwards, I felt guilty about not going back, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And as I found it more and more difficult to live there, I found i no longer cared!
Oh, boy, I am sorry, but your writing is so brilliant I had to... laugh!
That sausage!!! Charming, I have tears in my eyes!
Glad to learn you laughed in the end, too!
Some bad times are a good joke for life, right?
Thank you for sharing this!
(When I still was living in Hildesheim we had a looooong presentation on... I don´t remember which country, there was a lady with SO MUCH perfume it gave me a headache, but I was too polite to leave - and, shoot, it was so darn boring, too - no snacks, thankfully!).
I am still laughing at this 15 years later, so it's the gift that keeps on giving :-)
Oh, that perfume would have given me a headache, too--and a sore throat. Yuck!
Now I can laugh, too. Sad I can´t remember anything else! I seldom use perfume, but if... just a bit! It was a lesson for sure!
I have to be very careful with stuff--I react to things, so I can't wear any perfume and can't buy certain shampoos, laundry detergents, washing up liquid, and other things. If I use the wrong things, I get sick. A friend once gave me some 'nice' shampoo and body wash for my birthday. I used it and thought I was going to pass out--my head buzzed and I felt sick, instant headache, etc. I got myself rinsed off and out of the shower, then into bed to recover! Even some flowers give me an instant headache.
Well done for sticking it out and staying.
Also well done for sharing this story with us over these last few posts.
Thank you.
All the best Jan
It seemed best to stay, since it would have taken me a long time to limp out of there--LOL--I wouldn't be able to quietly slip away!
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