Wednesday, December 30, 2020

A Day in a Life: The End of the Story

 This is the conclusion of the story I've been posting for the past few days. The first part is here. the second part is here. The third part is here. All links will open in a new window.

We stood outside waiting for the Celtic Society meeting to start while people began arriving, singing, and strutting to show off their kilt. At long last, the key lady arrived and let us in. I gratefully dropped my sore, stiff self into a hard plastic chair and prepared to be polite, as one is with strangers. 'At last,” I was thinking, “the craziness is over and now I can listen to this presentation about Brittany and learn something new.” Not quite. Turns out that the person who was supposed to do the presentation was unable to come for some reason and had passed the responsibility to someone else who had no inkling about computers or the internet and had to rely on what books she could find from the library. These consisted of two or three from the early 1950s. She practically read them to us. I sat stiffening in the chair and the smile now seemed permanently fixed to my face. For an hour and a half, she droned on and showed us pictures. It was a sincere effort. Truly, she did the best that she could with the meager materials she had at her disposal. I honestly appreciated her effort, and I  admired her for stepping up to do something she was clearly very nervous about doing, but I was ready to leave. Not yet.

Snack time followed our enlightening lesson on 1950s Brittany. There was lukewarm tap water from the adjoining bathroom sink and little sausages wrapped in that canned crescent roll dough and baked. I took a cup of water and a sausage to be polite. I sipped the water and looked for an opportunity to hide my sausage in my napkin. Another woman was not bothering with social niceties. She took a bite of the sausage roll, declared it inedible and quite conspicuously spit it back onto her plate. Charming.
I began to prepare my good-byes, as I figured it was just about time to go. We had learned about Brittany, we had snacks, we'd been there for a couple of hours. Surely now, we could be released. Not yet.
There was a video to watch! Hurrah! In all fairness, this was the best part of the whole meeting. The video was about Ireland but it was an hour and a half long and although I was unsure about whether I would even be able to unstiffen my body to get up from the hard plastic chair, I surely wanted to make the attempt. But, as the Buddhists remind us, all is impermanent, even Celtic Society meetings and videos about Ireland. At long last, it was over. It took a little doing, but with the exact same smile still locked into place, I got myself out of the chair, out the door and into the truck as quickly as I could limp. I reached over with my left hand to shut the door and burst out laughing. “What the hell was that supposed to be?” I asked Bill. “I have no idea,” he responded. We laughed all the way home and beyond. My long and bizarre day had reached an end.

 Epilogue

The commissioners hired someone to run the museum who did not have museum/history/anthropology experience but had an interest in the town and who was willing to spend many, many hours promoting and fundraising. He was a much better choice than I would have been. I would never have been willing to devote so much of my life to such an undertaking. I hated the town more and more with each passing day, so I would definitely have been the worst person in the world to have that job.

My legs turned all sorts of weird colors, and then the bruises faded. The stiffness in my arm went away. And I was always careful about that spot on the sidewalk in the future.

The Celtic Society dutifully called us to let us know about upcoming meetings for a few years after that day. We never did go back.

It has been 15 years since that day and I still laugh when I think of it.



10 comments:

JFM said...

Those LONG meetings would have been great if someone was overweight and needed help trying to lose a few pounds snacking on inedible food and being held captive and literally tied to a plastic chair...You and Bill were great sports to have stayed for the entire presentation.

Happy to hear that you didn't break any bones ☕

Shari Burke said...

We thought it would never end. I might still be sitting there today, a skeleton in a plastic chair! ;-)

Vicki said...

What a great story! I don't think I would have been as gracious as you even if I wasn't bruised and sore. I probably would have got up and left. Good for you for sticking it out!

Shari Burke said...

There didn't seem to be any way to leave politely. All attention was on us as new people--they didn't see many new people. For several months afterwards, I felt guilty about not going back, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And as I found it more and more difficult to live there, I found i no longer cared!

Iris Flavia said...

Oh, boy, I am sorry, but your writing is so brilliant I had to... laugh!
That sausage!!! Charming, I have tears in my eyes!
Glad to learn you laughed in the end, too!
Some bad times are a good joke for life, right?
Thank you for sharing this!

(When I still was living in Hildesheim we had a looooong presentation on... I don´t remember which country, there was a lady with SO MUCH perfume it gave me a headache, but I was too polite to leave - and, shoot, it was so darn boring, too - no snacks, thankfully!).

Shari Burke said...

I am still laughing at this 15 years later, so it's the gift that keeps on giving :-)

Oh, that perfume would have given me a headache, too--and a sore throat. Yuck!

Iris Flavia said...

Now I can laugh, too. Sad I can´t remember anything else! I seldom use perfume, but if... just a bit! It was a lesson for sure!

Shari Burke said...

I have to be very careful with stuff--I react to things, so I can't wear any perfume and can't buy certain shampoos, laundry detergents, washing up liquid, and other things. If I use the wrong things, I get sick. A friend once gave me some 'nice' shampoo and body wash for my birthday. I used it and thought I was going to pass out--my head buzzed and I felt sick, instant headache, etc. I got myself rinsed off and out of the shower, then into bed to recover! Even some flowers give me an instant headache.

Lowcarb team member said...

Well done for sticking it out and staying.
Also well done for sharing this story with us over these last few posts.
Thank you.

All the best Jan

Shari Burke said...

It seemed best to stay, since it would have taken me a long time to limp out of there--LOL--I wouldn't be able to quietly slip away!