Wake-Up Call on a Warm Sunny Spring Morning

 Looks like summer is coming early to us this year. We've had a couple days of bright sunshine and warmer than average temperatures. It's going to stay this way but even warmer for the week ahead. It will feel like summer, which I am not happy about. As I was sitting quietly, drinking my tea and really feeling the seasonal tiredness that comes with waking up too early, some words started meandering through my brain. I wrote them down, mindful as I did so that they come from someone in a privileged position. I am not hungry or thirsty, not seeking shelter, and there are no bombs falling on my home.  Nonetheless, the words kept nudging me and writing them down cleared up some space in my brain. Here they are.

Wake-Up Call on a Sunny Spring Morning

I open my eyes

to a bright sunny morning.

It settles

on me like a

lead blanket.

Do I have to get up?

Focus! 

I remind myself

Feel and acknowledge!

OK, I’ll try.

Hello, heavy weight

of depression.

Greetings, fluttery wasp buzz

of agitation.

Here you are again--

arriving with the warm sunny weather

a bit early this year.

I confess--

as always--

even though I knew

you’d be coming

I’m not 

ready

and

I’m not

happy

to have you back.

But here you are

unwelcome guests--

settle in.

Let’s get reacquainted--

since you’ll be here

for months

we might as well.

You’ll burrow in.

I’ll get used to

agitation’s jumpy hum,

constant soundtrack

to my days.

You’ll suck

the energy out of me, 

depression,

as I drag

your ball and chain

through each hour.

I’ll function anyway,

trying to be in 

each present moment

as it arises—

or at least 

trying

to do better.

Still, if I’m honest

I must admit

I don’t particularly

enjoy

your company.

I’ll be looking

forward

to your departure.

When summer goes

you can go with it.

I won’t miss

any of you

when

you’re gone.

19 March 2022

Bunbeg, Co Donegal

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