Saturday, October 16, 2021

Power in the Stitches

 The comments people kindly left on my last post set me off on a trip down memory lane. In that post, I mentioned how cool I still think it is every time I turn a heel on a sock. I started to wonder how many stitches I have made in the past 4 decades since I taught myself to knit and crochet when our daughter was a toddler. I'd done some needlepoint and crewel embroidery using small kits when I was a kid, but wanted to make more functional things, so taught myself knitting and crocheting. When I started higher education, I had less time, but I still looked forward to my little bit of stitching time. I remember how, in my first couple years of grad school, I was under a lot of time pressure. Bill was working graveyard shift and I was working as a TA, taking a full load of classes as required for the TAship, doing my own research, then writing my thesis. Bill would leave for work at about 9:30 pm. I would set the alarm for 1 or 2 am and place it across the room, so I would have to get up to turn it off. Had it been within reach, I would have simply turned it off and kept sleeping. I'd get up, make coffee, and do my reading for the day. I wouldn't have time once things got going--Bill would swing by from work in the morning, pick us up, drop me off at the university, take our daughter to school, then go home and go to bed. If I was TAing a night class, he'd pick me up when it was done, drop me off and head to work. If not, he'd pick me up at 5ish, we'd go home, help with homework if necessary, have dinner, hang out together, then he'd go to work. I would sit in bed and crochet, usually for just 10 or 15 minutes, since I was too tired to do much more, then I'd sleep for a few hours. I looked forward to those few minutes all day, though! I made a lot of blankets during that time. The first one was just a scrap blanket. I'd gone through all my scraps, tied them together in a big ball, chose a mindless stitch pattern, made a chain, and crocheted. I didn't have to count after the chain was made and I could just crochet away, even when half asleep. we had that blanket for a decade and it was still going strong, but we left it behind in a move, because it was heavy. When that was done, I started another, less scrappy blanket and gave it to a friend. Then a fellow student's wife was having a baby, so I made a blanket for the baby. It was so important to my mental health to have those projects to work on.

Throughout my time in the higher education system, I always felt like I was really on break when I could read novels instead of academic writing and I could spend more time knitting, crocheting, and doing a bit of cross stitch. Every Christmas break, I would spend at least one or two nights up almost all night listening to Christmas music, watching a Christmas Carol, and working on a big project that would be a Christmas gift. I loved that and looked forward to those nights. Sometimes this was a blanket or other thing for our daughter, but later on, near the end of my time in academia, I was working on a large project for Bill. I took a filet crochet chart, usually done with thread, and made it with yarn and a bigger hook instead. We had a large wall of dark paneling that it would be perfect for.
This was one of our dogs at the time--she was highly bonded to Bill. She loved all of us, but he was her favourite person.
She made it clear from the moment she came home from the shelter that she was a bed dog, not a sled dog!

Later on, after we'd moved and life took a different turn, I had more opportunities to see the power of stitching. I was asked to teach a crochet class to women in the shelter for those fleeing domestic violence and abuse. I did. We were there with donated supplies and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. The person who organized these classes sat in a corner and watched with her mouth open. Near the end of the class, one of the women looked at me while sort of hugging her project and asked, 'Can I keep this?' 'Oh, yes,' I replied, 'It's yours to keep.' 'Thank you,' she said,' I am making a blanket for my daughter's doll. I hope she likes it.' Later, we'd gone to a dinner in which both the organizer and the director of the shelter were present. They told me that they had their doubts about the usefulness of the classes, but that they were the ones that the women liked the most and they all said they got a lot out of them. That made me really happy.

When I'd left academia, I taught myself other techniques, including needle tatting. When we moved to a place with a new yarn shop in town, They held a meeting looking for instructors and I went. when they saw I could needle tat, they jumped on it and we'd scheduled the first class before I left. It was filled and I was able to recommend good resources so the shop always made a lot of sales in addition to the classes always being filled. I taught various things there for a few years and it was always gratifying to see the way people blossomed as they learned a new skill they'd been wanting to learn and often wanted to make something for someone they loved. This was true in all my classes, but especially in the needle tatting classes. Almost all of my students there were older and they'd talk about their grandmothers--one brought her grandma's crochet hook to join her picots. She cried at the end of the class, saying she never thought she'd be able to do it and how much it reminded her of her grandmother. Once, two friends attended the class together and they told us how they'd been talking on the phone with one another, cheering each other on. When one of their husbands asked what was for dinner, she replied, 'Make your own dinner. I'm tatting!' 

I have so many happy memories that involve yarn and thread. Thank you to Vicki, Linda, and Iris for your comments that brought me to this little journey down memory lane!


13 comments:

Vicki said...

I love this story!

Shari Burke said...

Thanks, Vicki. They are nice memories :-)

My name is Erika. said...

I'm in post catch up. Knitting is one of the best simple pleasures, isn't it? Very nice story.

Rostrose said...

Dear Shari,
nice that I found you again! Have you already moved into your new house?
I just had to laugh - I also set my alarm clock in the middle of the room when I was very young and "nocturnal" - so as not to oversleep in the morning when I had to go to work ;-)) I hated crocheting when I was at school. We had bad teachers. Now I am passionately crocheting a granny blanket for my first grandchild. I was always good at knitting, but I haven't done it since a long time. Unfortunately, I am not very good at sewing - or I am not very good at using the sewing machine. I would love to sew something new out of old fabric rests or sew on my old clothes. But my talents are elsewhere. You brought together great crochet pieces. And the dog photo is cute! :-)
Happy weekend,
Traude
https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2021/10/italien-reisebericht-pause-in-ferrara.html

Linda said...

I enjoy hearing about people's journeys. Finding out how they got to where they are today. Baby steps or big leaps, it all fascinates me. Your story is strung with string. I love how it seems necessary.

Iris Flavia said...

You helped a lot of people. It must be a great feeling, but wee, those first years sound exhausting!

The clock-thing made me laugh - in some things we´re like really different.
My clock beeped, I jumped out of bed, turned on the TV (Ingo was still living in Rhüden) and wondered why the news weren´t on. Was your favorite time of the year, winter shoes, coat, all on, ready to go - it was 03:00 am and I´d just dreamed the clock went off (3 hours too early).
Happened a second time even.
I now always wake 03:55 by myself cause my stupid brain wants to make sure Ingo really gets up at 04:00. No idea why this man needs an hour, he leaves at 5...

Sad and "great" such projects for abused women exist. We have the White Ring for that and they advertise a lot. There must be many who could need your help still...
Always reminds me to be thankful I am not one of them... And that there are people like you for in case.

Great work with your dog!!!! And also the blanket she slept on!

Shari Burke said...

Erika--yes! I always feel so peaceful when I have yarn running through my fingers!

Traude--yes, we're in our flat now--yay! Glad that's done. Bad teachers can ruin anything. I taught myself, so I didn't mind the teacher ;-) But later on, so many of my students said they hated stitching because someone would yell at them when they were learning, tell them they were doing things wrong, make them hold the tools in a certain way that was awkward for them, or made them rip things out until everything was just so. I used to tell them that I would show them how I do things, but they will find their own comfortable ways of making the stitches and if they are getting the results they want, they're doing it right! What a treasure your new grandchild will have in the blanket you're making!

I know what you mean, Linda. I am also interested in people's stories--Bill and I used to do life story work with people and taught classes/gave workshops. I am particularly interested in people's creative journeys. We did a life story project with women artists
once and it was wonderful.

What a dream that was, Iris! I never jump out of bed. I am definitely not a morning person. I wake up, groan, and hope it's early enough for me to go back to sleep, if I can. My heart gives a little leap of joy if that's the case--LOL Once we were going somewhere and had to get up early. I awoke to Bill yelling at me. I mumbled something and gazed at him through bleary eyes. he was yelling, 'I thought you were dead! I was trying to wake you up and you were not moving!' Yup, mornings are not my best time of day!

I should have said in the blog post that the blanket on the back of the dog's futon was made by my MIL, so I can't claim that work as my own! :-)

Iris Flavia said...

LOL. My Brother wanted to go racing with his boss, wake up at 06:00 am. Nope. I yelled at him. We made it in time. (I was on holiday with him when he was studying and we had but one room).

Joy said...

Goodness what busy lives you've lead!

It makes sense to me that you came to teach the things you make, people who love the work and the end-product are the best and most inspirational teachers. I really love your women's shelter story. Imagine how many young people never have anyone take the time to teach them anything that they can then pass-on to their own kids. You helped them find a greater sense of self-esteem because of it. It's not their fault no one taught them something like this before of course but it's so heart-warming that YOU did. I know as we taught the kids things their self-esteem and confidence grew by leaps and bounds.

Oh you've reminded me of the filet-crochet projects I've wanted to make too. I think it would be fun to make a blanket-type one with yarn as you did but I'm still trying to figure out what design to use or how to figure out what designs make most sense for someone who hasn't done it and has vision issues. I love how you did that too because I've been wanting to make a wall piece like that too. It seems hard to do the charts properly. Any tips?

Shari Burke said...

Some people just aren't early birds--LOL

Shari Burke said...

My tip would be to know how you crochet and swatch first to see how your spaces come out. This can be just the basic open squares--to see if they're really square! I had to fiddle with this a lot, because I crochet tightly, so my DCs were not tall enough. I haven't done filet in years, but if I remember correctly, I ended up using extended DCs. I tried doing only 1 chain in between CDs, too, but that didn't give enough open space.

Yes, it was really powerful to me to watch how creating things helped boost self-confidence and self-esteem. And how all the women in the classes at the shelter and many in the yarn shop wanted to make something for someone they love. That was really cool, too.

Joy said...

That makes sense, I'd have the same concerns I'm sure.

Thoughts on how to graph it all out more simply?

Yes there's nothing like seeing people come-alive inside when they realize they can create anything they may ever imagine with a hook/needles and some yarn/thread. Many people are never given legacy items like needle points of their birth announcements or baby blankets they had as kids from Nana so and so ... this gives that back to them to do for themselves and their own kids/loved ones. I have a distant cousin whose family loves her crocheted blobs, she never really cared too much about form and following detailed counting etc but they just don't care lol. I love that too, it makes everything she does rather whimsical.

Shari Burke said...

I didn't have any issues with the graphs themselves, just my own crochet quirks :-) But I have read in blogs that there is some kind of numerical system for filet. But I haven't seen it and haven't done filet in years, so I am not sure how that works.