This afternoon I was looking at an old thumb drive to see what was on it. I found an old file that was a sort of journal. The entries were sporadic but reading through some of them, I was reminded of things I had completely forgotten about. One of these forgotten things was an essay I wrote about my Nana in 2007 and that was published in Oregon Humanities Magazine. I then went in search of the essay so I could read it again. It was not where I thought it might be and I thought for a while that I didn't have it anymore, but I looked again in a different folder and there it was. I saved it again and am posting it here. I'm glad I found it!
RAVIOLI AND PEACHES
“Do you want some peaches?” Nana asked after the lunch dishes had been cleared away. “Yup,” I replied. She opened the refrigerator and took out the canning jar. She put a few peach halves in my bowl and then sat down with the jar, spearing peaches with “her” fork—the one with the short handle and the bent tines with wide spaces in between.
That’s how I remember Nana, my maternal grandmother—through food. She was always in her garden or in her kitchen. The fruit, vegetables, and jam we ate at her house came out of her garden or glass canning jars, not metal cans. Nana was the producer of most of the food we ate there. Cherry, peach and apple trees provided the raw materials for jam, applesauce and our lunchtime dessert. Her large garden served up salads, green beans, marinara sauce, and our Halloween pumpkins. And that wasn’t the half of it. The ravioli we ate—my favorite food—came out of her freezer, but each one was made and bagged by Nana herself. First she made the pasta dough and she rolled it out to be laid in the ravioli form. A small spoonful of filling was placed in each space and then another sheet of dough laid on top. She pressed down on the whole thing so that the form cut through the dough and separated the individual ravioli. Over and over she repeated the process, making eight or ten at a time to put in the freezer so that one day she’d be able to wonder aloud what she should make for dinner that night before turning and asking me whether she should make “raviools,” as she called them.
Why did she go to so much trouble? She could have just gone to the store and bought a bag of ravioli. There are many reasons for her ideas about food and producing it herself instead of buying it, but I think the biggest reason she did these things was that she cared about the people she was feeding. This was her way of showing the love she had for all of us around the table. I learned early on how valuable this kind of work could be. I also saw how little respect she got for this work. It was just expected that she would have breakfast on the table at 6, lunch at noon, and dinner at 5. I could see that everyone just came in and sat down without so much as one word of gratitude. They thought what she did was unimportant women’s work, but to me she made the world go around. At a time when women were being urged to leave the kitchen, I was learning how powerful a place the kitchen could be.
Because of Nana, I came to understand how important and life-affirming some domestic labor could be. I saw how food could be many things—a way to commune with nature, an artist’s medium, and an expression of love and care. I knew early in my life that the work we do each day at home is what is truly important for the planet, our communities, families, and ourselves. Growing up in a society and family where money was god and used in an attempt to buy security, prestige, and the illusion of happiness, I understood early on that I did not fit in. The usual pursuits were utterly meaningless to me. And so, as an adult, I set out not to gather as much cash as I could, but rather to create a peaceful and loving home in which the daily work of living went on. And mostly, it seems to have worked. I’ve had more than one person tell me what a peaceful home I have. I’ve done plenty of other things in my life and even wrote a Master’s thesis on the subject of motherhood and women’s domestic labor. But no matter what I have been involved in, I always look forward to coming home. I don’t can peaches or make ravioli, but I do make bread. When I give someone some rolls or muffins that I’ve made for them and I watch their face light up, I feel the hope that just maybe they feel like I did when I heard, “Do you want some peaches?”
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Nana--photo by Bill Burke |
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Nana in her garden--photo by Bill Burke |
7 comments:
"Yup" - boy, if I ever talked like that to my Granma... huhhh, bad times, you made me laugh right away! (I wasn´t allowed to refer to my Father as "he", either!). "Yup." LOL. A "set of red ears" would´ve been the answer!
Yes, when Granma´d passed we found many very old fruits in glasses. From the 70´s... we only could throw them away... right? Well, they are gone.
Hups. I become a Nana! I just baked away to freeze it all!
Sad your Nana got little respect for her wonderful work.
“Do you want some peaches?” sounds really beautiful, even to someone who does not like sweets. Beautiful pics of your Nana, well done highlightning the buckets full of yum.
Thank you for giving me a big smile and remember Arme Ritter, that´s what our Grandma did for us, I still have her table with burned spot cause my little Brother stormed off and she left me alone with the hot stuff. Uh...
It's a shame that you didn't get to know most of your grandparents, Vicki. The only one I never met was my paternal grandfather who was German, in the SS and died during WWII. I can't help thinking that it's just as well that I never met him. I'm not sure my grandmother and the child who became my father would have even ended up in the US had he lived and then he would not have met my mother and I would not exist! We lived 1000 miles away from Nana and Poppop (my grandfather) so I didn;t see them as often as I would have liked, but I loved being there. She was the one person in my life when I was a kid who I knew loved me unconditionally, so she ws pretty important to me. Oma (paternal grandmother) lived close enough that I saw her fairly regularly, but I was never as close to her.
Iris--Oma would not have been happy with a yup, either, probably. She was a different kettle of fish altogether. Quite a bit more rigid and judgemental. Her son was not that unlike her in that way. Nana was not like that--too bad her daughter (my mother) did not learn from her. Since I always knew my parents did not like me (or love me) because I was not the person they wished me to be, Nana was always very important to me as a kid. Her house was the only place I ever felt comfortable and safe, so I always treasured the weeks I would spend there in summer. I used to dream about being able to go live with her.
Ah, french toast! I did not know it also used to be called German toast, so I have learned something this morning! :-)
Sharl, thank you for sharing this heart warming memory with us.
My Aunt Erma and your Nana would have been great teachers of how to exist with the help of mother nature.
Have a beautiful evening.
I was always in awe of Nana and what she could do/make. She was an upcycler before that was a word. Your Aunt Erma sounds like she was awe-inspiring, too :-)
Thank you so much for sharing this very special memory with us, your Nana sounds like a wonderful grandmother.
Grandparents can play such a loving role in a family. I am fortunate that mine did and now both Eddie and I enjoy time spent with the grandchildren. Of course in the present Covid conditions time spent with them is currently via the internet, not quite the same but we are still very thankful for being able to share their delight at baking cakes, building snowmen, having a dance, playing their recorder, or telling us about the latest book they are reading.
Lovely post, thank you again.
All the best Jan
What wonderful memories of your Nana. I think my grands will associate me with food, too. lol. My grandmother was very much like that, too- a gardener that drew me into the garden to pick peas and as I picked she would dole out the pink wintergreen round candies she had in her apron pocket.
Loved this post, Shari! Hugs- Diana
It is wonderful that the technology allows you to be with your grandkids virtually during this time, Jan--and for them to be with you! As you say grandparents are so important! I honestly do not know whether I would have made it out of my childhood without Nana and whenever I recognise in myself something that reminds me of her, it makes me very happy.
I love the image of you picking peas with your grandmother and her giving you the candies, Diana! It's wonderful how they live on in our hearts and in us long after they're gone and your grandkids and Jan's will carry the memories of time spent with you as they grow older.
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