March marches on with Bill in recovery mode and me settling in with the arrival of my annual spring depression.
Turns out that Bill's rash is shingles. He showed it to the GP last week when he went for his regular INR test. The GP thought it looked infected, so he gave Bill a prescription for antibiotics. Bill finished the course yesterday. Fortunately Bill did not have the pain that is usual with shingles--the GP was astonished that he had no pain because it was a pretty bad case, he said. Now that everything is healing though, Bill's having more discomfort as everything itches. The back issue comes and goes. He has been able to get dressed and get out for short walks over the last couple of days, which is good. He's tired afterwards, which is also good. Yesterday we went out for a short walk and he came home and napped in the chair. He needs the sleep since he's not sleeping well at night.
We went out after lunch yesterday because we'd heard there were St Patrick's Day festivities going on and for some reason we thought they would begin in the early afternoon. We were wrong. The streets were very quiet. The flags were out though.
It was good to see him with his camera--in many ways life has just been on hold for a few weeks and he hasn't picked up his camera at all.
As for me, my annual spring depression arrived right on schedule. I was curious to see how the lack of winter would affect me and I think the answer is that since it was cool enough, it was OK. I know enough not to subject myself to one of those horrible places where it's hot all the time, but I wondered how I would be in a place where it just doesn't get cold at all. Turns out that for me--as long as it's cool enough--it's the light that make the difference. I do really well in the dark and this would explain why October, November, and December are the months when I feel good. By January the light is returning fast and I am already dreading what's to come. The expanding hours of daylight make me sad. So it is. I have learned to just accept that this is the way it is for me. I loved it here when it was starting to get dark at 4 o'clock. I am not happy now when I notice that it's almost 7 and still light out. We will turn the clocks forward in a couple of weeks and it will be light even later. By June, the daylight will linger until 11. Summer solstice makes me happy not because it's the "longest" day, but because I know that from then on, there will be a little less light every day.
Anyway, here it is. The first few days are the worst and I just accept that it's here. I expect that when Bill recovers and we can go out and walk and take day trips, things will be better. At the moment I am devouring book after book (even more so than usual)--it is good for me to have stuff to learn and think about. I am best when my brain has something to occupy it. I enjoy seeing all of the flowers that are popping up.
I have a book in at the library so will go off and pick that up later. We got the notification that it was in on Saturday, which is pretty unusual. It's an automated message and came after the library was already closed, so I couldn't go pick it up then. Library is closed on Sundays and Mondays anyway and it was closed yesterday because of the St Patrick's Day holiday, so today is the day. While I waited, I read a bunch of stuff I'd picked up at charity shops, none of which I plan to keep. I will pass them along and have that much less to haul with us when we move!
So we are having a little intermission from our regular life at the moment. I have missed my normal life, but have also been grateful for the parts of it that remain and that sustain me. Several years ago when I was living in a place that was like hell for me, I was in a very severe depression, which was unrelated to this seasonal stuff and far more serious. As I started to try and climb out of that, I realized that I had to seriously think about what kind of life I wanted to have and what I really needed, so I could keep that and dump the rest. I have tried to keep what I learned in focus ever since then and I've found that this knowledge really does help in times that are less than wonderful. I am glad that I have this understanding of myself.