Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 Yesterday, the postman delivered this book. I'm eager to get into it.

Even this second edition is older now--from 2003--but I just learned of it a few weeks ago. Given the kind of writing this is, I don't think it'll matter how old it is. It looks like the kind of book that can be read a little bit at a time, so I'll probably start it today and do that. The way things have been for the last month, I have not been reading as much as I normally do and things are stacking up 😲Does this matter? Only if you're someone who's really, really wanting to dive into several books right now--and I am such a person. I have a couple of chunky classics that I left halfway through and am looking forward to getting back to. I hope to finish a library book today and have another one that I haven't read yet and one waiting for me at the library. I have 6 books on my NetGalley shelf that are going to be published early in 2026 that sound great. I have a couple of library e-books to read. And my e-reader is stuffed with e-books. The piles of my own books aren't getting any smaller. Yes, I have been greedy when it comes to books and I freely admit I have no willpower in this regard. Nevertheless, I am feeling a bit frustrated about this situation and I am hoping to get myself back on track. The bottom line is that I'm happier when I'm reading a lot and learning new things through nonfiction or immersing myself in good novels. I mean, one of the books on my NetGalley shelf is The Epic History of Macaroni and Cheese. I had no idea mac and cheese had an epic history, and I've been looking forward to learning about this for a couple of months. 

As a result of this, for the past few days, I've been thinking about whether I want to stay in the library book group. When we got home from dog-sitting, I asked at the library about the book everyone's reading. I missed the November meeting because we were away and it was just as well because I did not like the book and abandoned it after the first very long and tedious chapter. There were no copies of the current book left so the call went out on the group chat asking if anyone was finished and could hand over their copy. When I learned the book is Funny Girl by Nick Hornby, I looked it up and felt like I really didn't want to read it anyway, but didn't feel comfortable saying, 'Never mind' in the chat. After a back and forth between various people, a woman who isn't finished with the last book yet offered to drop off her copy of Funny Girl so I could read it and get it back to her so she could read it. She dropped it off on Saturday. I read the first section. I was not surprised to find it boring. I'm about a quarter of the way through it and have decided that my reading time is precious and I'm not going to waste it on books I do not like and have zero interest in. Those days are over as my time on earth grows shorter! 

Then I started thinking about the group in general. I learned about it in August, but after they'd had their meeting for that month. The first one I attended was in September and the book was American Dirt. It was a good book, but the discussion was pretty superficial. The next book was Charlotte Gray. The book was mediocre but the discussion was better. I missed the November meeting where the book was the tedious Prayer for Owen Meany. Now this one. I might be missing the January meeting as well if I stay in the group and who knows what the book will be. So my track record with the group isn't great. I have only liked one of the four books and the discussions have been a mixed bag. And honestly, I guess I just don't care what people think about this book because I don't care about it myself. The next meeting is two weeks from today so I don't have to decide immediately whether or not to withdraw, but I think I'm leaning in that direction. In the meantime, I will message the woman who gave me her copy of the book so she can have it back. 

It was funny, that moment of clarity as I was sitting there feeling a bit resentful about wasting my time on a book I don't want to read. I looked up at the piles of books I DO want to read and thought, 'What the hell are you doing? Put this book down and move along.' So I did. Now I will decide whether or not to put the whole book group behind me. I tried it. The people seem quite nice but the books sadly have not been. This may not be the best use of my time.

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